Teardrops and Raindrops
by fashiongirl97
Summary: As rain falls on a city, and car headlights filter into her dark penthouse, she can't help but think about how her life and changed, and of course, him.


**Disclaimer **_Nashville is not mine_

**Author's note **_I haven't seen season two yet, so this is probably wrong. However, I haven't written Nashville in a while and this just kinda bugged me. Enjoy! And please review_

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Teardrops and Raindrops

Slowly but purposefully, large drops of perfectly formed rain landed carelessly on the window. Like pain splatters dotted around the square pane, and the one next to that, and the one above that, and the one next to that. The city behind, with its bright lights and laughing people, walking care freely through the wet weather. An image distorted by little pearls of water clinging hopelessly to the smooth surface until it was their turn to let gravity take over and roll in wavy directions, always ending up downwards. The lights of cars passing by reflecting off of the window and into the darkened room. It may well be mid-morning, but it was a dark and dreary one in December. All of the Christmas lights were wet, decorations soggy and the general festive feel washed away - for her at least.

The pent house flat Marshall had rented her was everything she hated. Ultramodern, ostentatious, and unwelcoming, filled with block colour expanses. The only sign of life being that modern artwork she didn't understand nor like. But she was grateful for a place to sleep, and stay. Even if she would have preferred a flat in downtown Nashville, or a cabin in the woods.

His cabin.

No doubt that was where he was. She'd heard from Coleman that he'd refused rehab. Cole had said he was possibly too ashamed, but she knew that was only partly the case. He'd never gone to rehab on his own before, she'd always dropped him off. Going back there, would be like raking up old memories. He'd been there enough to know what he had to do. So now he'd do it alone. The knowledge he had nearly killed Rayna pushing him on. And she didn't for a moment think he couldn't do it. He'd managed every time; it was just the staying that way that caused him issues.

Her phone rang beside of her, the bright light of the screen lighting up, the only thing illuminating the blackness. She cast her eyes over, seeing the name in case it was the girls. But it was Tandy, so she left it. She was still annoyed with her sister for talking to the RBI about their father. After everything they had been through, his heart attack and Maddie, everything. Then she'd gone and pushed their father in the deep end. But he'd got out; without even a hair out of place or a wrinkle etched deeper he had gotten out. How? Rayna didn't know, nor did she want to. But he had and for that she was pleased. Because, her life had been turned upside down enough for the moment.

Her eyes returned down to the street. The girls were out of town with Teddy for the weekend, so she was alone. The house that her children had grown up in was lying empty in Belle Meade, whilst the reporters camped outside. Not knowing that they would get exactly nothing out of it. That was why she was here, to stay out of the way and recover in peace.

But that was hard. Things had changed since that accident. Deacon may well have gotten off with just a few scrapes and bruises, but she'd been in a coma. She'd been hurt more than she ever thought she would be, and now she would spend the rest of her life in the scarred skin she currently wore. And she hated it. She hated that when she looked in the mirror the face looking back at her had aged ten years. She hated the way Maddie had had to grow up so much just so that her mother could recover. And it scared her that Daphne was not even ten and she had already dealt with so much in her life. But at the same time, she was proud of them.

She'd walked in to the room Maddie was sleeping in the other day to see her writing a letter to Deacon. Rayna had stopped lying to her daughter, and told her the truth. So, after finding out that his phone was not working and knowing that he would not want to see people when he was recovering, she got the address for his cabin from her mum, and began to write a letter.

Her girls were growing up.

And that fact alone made Rayna very scared. Once more her phone lit up and she sighed, casting her eyes over, she didn't know what she was going to do. It was Deacon, and she couldn't quite believe her eyes. As she leant over to pick it up she saw her hands visibly shaking as she did so. She knew how long it had been since they spoke in hours, everyone had felt like a million years. Maybe it wouldn't have hurt so much if they'd never walked over the line from friends once more. But they had, and for a few weeks maybe, she'd had bliss. She'd had the man she loved to curl up with and kiss and so all those things with that she missed.

But that was gone. It had been gone since the moment that he walked into her dressing room after the CMA's. After the performance with Brad Paisley, when everything had felt wrong. Taking a deep breath she pressed the accept button and held the phone to her ear. She took a deep breath, closed her eyes and tried to calm herself down by pretending that everything was as normal as it could ever be. "Hey." She said in a barely audible whisper. But then there was silence, and all she could hear was his breathing, but it was enough to reassure her that he was still there.

"Hey." He said, after a few moments silence. They stayed like that.

"Deacon, I-"She began, after finally managing to build up the courage and say something.

"Don't." He interrupted, already knowing what she was going to say. "I know why you did it; I don't forgive you, but maybe one day."

"I hope so." She said, and as she looked out of the window she felt hot tears stream down her face, just as the rain streamed down the window outside.

"So do I." And she smiled at that, and let, once more, the silence wrap around them like a warm blanket. She watched outside, the sound of his breathing relaxing her for the first time since she had woken up in that sterile hospital ward. "I got Maddie's letter."

"Good." Rayna added, she hadn't invaded by asking what was in it, nor would she, but if it meant that father and daughter could manage to bridge a relationship then she would be happy with that.

"Ray, I want to see her."

"You don't have to ask Deac. I mean that. You've lost enough time with her." Rayna wiped another stray tear away. "Teddy took them out of town to get away from the press, and I needed some time." She could hear the annoyance in his breathing, but what did he expect. He may well be Maddie's father, but for the last thirteen years Teddy had been her dad. "I'll get her to ring you when she's back tomorrow."

"Thank you." He said, and she could tell that he actually meant it. "Bye Ray." He said, before hanging up. And then, as she put the phone down she whispered into the empty room.

"I miss you Deac." Before resting her head against the cold window and closing her eyes, wishing she'd gone about her life differently.


End file.
